I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
