Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have fence marks all over my body
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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