why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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