i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
