When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
