i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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