I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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