New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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