I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
