super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
