he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
