She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
