if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
