Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
