i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize