Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
