She is in my trunk
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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