guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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