i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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