Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
