So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
