I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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