I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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