All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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