Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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