I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
