Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
