she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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