this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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