so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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