i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
