What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize