have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
