She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
