We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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