One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
