I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
