Porn is love you can see.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
