i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
