that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize