Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I faked an abortion last night.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
