Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
