You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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