Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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