Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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