Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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