Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can text with my tongue
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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