It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
