do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.