either way he was missing a nipple.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.