dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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