Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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