haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
