I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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