I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
