You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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