The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
