Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
