dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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