Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
