And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
